About a week ago, Shaare Torah sent out its first edition of our Madrikh L'Aveilut -- Bereavement Guide. It was the latest in a series of steps to emphasize and strengthen our community's efforts to support families after the death of a loved one. Our bereavement committee felt that one of the most important things we need to do is to educate our members and friends about Jewish practices surrounding mourning, grief, and bereavement.
As a followup to distributing this important guide, we thought it would be interesting to experiment with a new way to follow up, including this "blog." This is an opportunity to provide feedback on the guide, to tell me (and others who log in) what you found most interesting, to relate the information to your own experiences as a mourner, and to ask me (and one another) questions about Jewish bereavement practices.
So I hope you will take us up on the offer! If this blog is successful, we'll see about integrating this form of education in other ways.
So I'll start off by asking for responses about two things:
1. Was there something in the guide that you did not know before? Did anything surprise you?
2. What questions did it raise -- is there something you are not sure you would do in accordance with these practices, or something you don't find particularly meaningful, but wish you did?
I'll look forward to your response.
Rabbi Jacob
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This is actually Jody. I found things I did not know and confirmed things I had heard. One is prohibition of cremation. Also the use of a simple coffin. I did not know why the black ribbon is worn and how long you where it. I did not know about the facing down of the shovel. I feel the guide is well done.
ReplyDeleteOne question I have is what about the donation of organs? I am not sure I saw anything about that but I assume it is prohibited based on the other information.
I wonder about being put in a coffin when we are to return to the earth. But the simple coffin facilitates this probably or at feels right to me.
Regarding children being present. Bill and I regreted not bringing our children to his brother's funeral, we really felt a void without them and I know it would have been helpful for them. We always bring them now when it is close family.
I'm interested to know more about the prohibition of cremation. This recent article in the Baltimore Jewish Times, http://www.jewishtimes.com/index.php/jewishtimes/news/jt/national_news/national_jewish_burial_society_concerned_about_cremation/12952, indicates there is some middle ground for conservative Jews. It seems that there are some benefits to cremation such as land use and costs. What are your thoughts?
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